Vanara Page 20

  The next few days went past like a blaze, with Tara taking the responsibility of making arrangements for the wedding of her brother-in-law with all earnestness. She ensured that she was always surrounded by helpers and servants; she sent for her father and her friends and thwarted all efforts of Sugreeva to meet her in private even for a moment. Her father came with his old friends and it was a joyful fortnight for her. She was no longer a bashful bride in her new home, but the mistress of her home. She had assumed the role of Maharani earnestly. She ensured that her father and his poor friends were treated with utmost respect and taken care of. The joy and pride they derived from her prestige filled her heart.

  Except her old father, Ruma had no one to call her own so Tara took charge of the wedding ceremonies and ensured that the celebrations after the rituals never got too out of hand. It was an important day in her married life too and she was excited for the night. She felt proud that she had solved such a thorny issue that had threatened to jeopardize her life. When it was time to go to the palmyra grove, Tara ensured both the couples went with their own procession. Just before Sugreeva and Ruma were about to leave, Ruma came to meet Tara.

  ‘You gave me a good life, Tara. I shall always be indebted to you,’ Ruma said, wiping the tears in her eyes.

  Tara understood the girl was nervous and comforted her with a hug. ‘I’m sure you will be a great life partner to Sugreeva and you will bear him a dozen sons who will as be as strong and handsome as their father.’

  Tara saw Sugreeva standing at a distance. A torchlight was blazing near him. There was no mistaking the gloom on his face. It worried Tara a lot. She hoped Ruma would be able to make him forget her. She watched them going away and felt something snapping inside her. There was a numb pain in her guts. No, I’m not jealous, why should I be jealous, I’m not, I’m not, she repeated in her mind, but the pain kept growing. She was startled when she felt a warm touch on her shoulders. Baali pressed his lips on her neck. She turned and hugged him tight. She started weeping, with guilt, with relief, with love.

  ‘What happened Tara?’ he asked, lifting her chin up.

  ‘It has been so long,’ she said.

  Baali lifted her up and carried her outside. There were musicians and drummers dozing at the steps. They scrambled up as soon as they saw the couple and started playing their instruments. Baali dismissed them and didn’t allow anyone to follow them to the grove.

  Baali walked all the way to the palmyra grove, carrying Tara. She had never felt so secure in her life. She drank in his smell, her arms entwined his strong neck like snakes and she slept like a baby in a cradle as Baali carried her uphill. When he gently lay her down on the soft grass and kissed her eyes open, she saw there were countless stars in the sky.

  ‘My Apasara,’ Baali whispered.

  She smiled. A cool breeze caressed her face, but his touch was gentler than that. The breeze made the palmyra fronds dance above them and shook jasmine flowers off the creepers.

  ‘The Heavens are showering celestial flowers on us, Tara,’ Baali said as he took a handful of jasmine flowers and sprinkled it over her face. A flower got stuck on her forehead and he gently took it off with his lips. She closed her eyes and held him close. It was as sweet as a dream.

  Tara woke up to birdsongs. Baali was sleeping near her. Golden rays of dawn filtered down through the canopy, drawing beautiful patterns on the grass. Dragonflies and honeybees buzzed around her. She stood up and stretched her limbs. It was a glorious dawn, a new beginning. She looked lovingly at her husband. Baali slept as if he had no worries in the world. She had an urge to hug him and lie on his chest. For a fleeting moment, she thought of Sugreeva, but hurriedly pushed away the thought. The river looked inviting. It was the colour of molten gold, as if the morning sun had melted in it. She walked towards the river.

  Tara stopped in her tracks. Did she hear someone sobbing? She was not sure. She resumed walking and yet again she heard a sniffling sound. There was a tree leaning towards the river bank. She could discern someone sitting there. She approached gingerly, not sure who she would find. She stopped in her tracks.

  ‘Ruma? What happened? Why’re you crying?’ She rushed to the girl.

  Ruma glared at her. She had stopped crying. Her face was contorted with rage. Tara was confused.

  ‘You cheated me,’ Ruma said.

  ‘What?!’

  ‘He told me everything. I’m just a pawn for you. A front to continue your illicit affair. I trusted you, considered you my sister. You’re a serpent.’ Ruma broke down and turned away from her.

  ‘Ruma, I don’t know what you mean–’

  ‘Get lost!’

  Chapter 28

  Tara was livid. She had to confront Sugreeva. She stomped back to the groove, in search of her husband’s brother. She wanted to tear him apart, limb to limb, with her bare hands. She found him sitting under a palmyra tree. She rushed to him. He had a vacant faraway look.

  She shook him by his shoulders. ‘I want to–’

  ‘You betrayed me,’ Sugreeva said in a heartbroken tone.

  Tara was taken aback. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’

  ‘I didn’t even touch Ruma, but you–’

  ‘Sugreeva, don’t talk nonsense.’

  ‘I heard. I heard you two yesterday. You’re so cruel, Tara.’

  ‘Your brother is my husband,’

  ‘I’m a fool, Tara. I thought you loved me.’

  ‘I didn’t ask you to think so.’

  ‘Women are hypocrites. They can keep one man in their heart and give their body to another.’

  ‘You’re crossing all limits of decency, Sugreeva.’

  ‘Ah, now I’m the villain? I, who in all my honesty, told everything to my wife.’

  ‘You did what?’

  ‘I opened my heart to Ruma. I told her how much I loved you. I told her there is no woman in my life other than you.’

  ‘You’re crazy!’

  ‘Crazy for you, Tara.’

  ‘Do you have any idea how cruel you’re being to Ruma?’

  ‘Do you have any idea how cruel you’re to me, Tara?’

  ‘For God’s sake, she is your wife!’

  ‘I didn’t choose her. She was thrust on me.’

  Tara had no answer for that. She was baffled. She didn’t know how to unknot this tangle.

  ‘Sugreeva, if you persist with this madness, I will have no option but to tell your brother.’

  ‘Ah, would you do that? Would you do that please? I know him. He would understand. There is no one who understands me better than him. Tell him how much we love each other.’

  Tara shook her head in dismay. She stood in silence, thinking of her options. It was better that she took the matter to Baali before it reached him through someone else. Tara turned back and came face to face with Ruma. She burst into tears and ran away. She had heard their conversation.

  Tara rushed to Baali. She hated to wake him up and convey such news to him, but she had no choice. However, when she reached where they had slept, Baali was not there. She ran to the cave palace. She had to see him urgently. When she reached the palace, she found that he hadn’t reached there too. She was getting scared. She waited for him at the threshold, praying that Ruma wouldn’t reach him first.

  She sat at the threshold, refusing breakfast, refusing lunch and anxiously waiting for Baali to come. It was almost evening when she saw him. He was walking fast, as if he was angry. She stood frozen, not knowing what to do. Had he heard it from Ruma before she could explain? Her knees were going weak.

  Baali came like a storm and thundered, ‘Tara. Is there any truth in what I have heard?’

  Blood drained off Tara’s face. Her throat went dry. ‘I . . . I . . .’

  ‘Why did you do this to me, Tara?’

  Tara collapsed on her knees. She covered her face with her palms. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’ She didn’t know why she was apologizing. Somehow, she was not able to face Baali. She was scare
d she had already committed some grave mistake. She was not pure, she didn’t deserve Baali, she told herself. But no words came out. She kept sobbing.

  She opened her eyes when she saw Baali laughing uproariously. He was clutching his belly. Tara glared at him. She saw Sugreeva standing with an impish smile.

  ‘This idiot . . .’ Baali sputtered between his laughter. ‘This fool has played a prank on you, Tara. He told me that he is going to scare you and Ruma.’

  ‘He . . . he–,’ Tara could not control her rage. ‘He is a bloody liar. He is fooling you.’

  ‘He is a liar, Tara. A most lovable liar,’ Baali reached out to Sugreeva and hugged him close. ‘He is an eternal prankster. This rascal, this fool, my brother . . . oh God, what pranks you play. You got scared, Tara? You got scared! You will get used to his pranks. He is one affable devil,’ Baali said, playfully punching his brother’s chest.

  ‘What did he tell you?’ Tara glared at her husband

  ‘Oh, he told me you’re in love with him. Don’t I know my brother? I knew it was a prank! I started laughing. Then he said, let us play this prank on you. Oh, it was fun!’

  ‘It isn’t funny at all.’ Tara turned on her heels and rushed in, trying to control her rage and frustration. She didn’t want to cry before them. She hated both the brothers. Brutes!

  ‘Tara, Taaaaraaa . . .’

  She could hear Baali running behind her. She went to a corner of the cave and stood panting. Baali scooped her off her feet. She struggled to be free. He showered her with kisses. She tried to push him away.

  ‘I’m sorry if I hurt you, Tara,’ Baali said between his kisses and Tara melted. But she was scared. She was sacred for Baali, she was scared for herself and for Kishkinda. Baali was too naïve. She had to protect him from himself and from his brother. She hugged him close and sobbed on his shoulders.

  ‘Why are you crying, Tara? He is just a boy. He often plays such childish pranks. As his elders, is it not our duty to indulge him?’

  ‘I’m scared.’

  ‘Why Tara? Who can harm you when I’m here for you?’ Tara didn’t say a word. Baali whispered, ‘I have brought you a gift.’ Tara looked at his smiling face. A strand of curled hair had fallen on his forehead, giving him an impish look. She wanted to curl her fingers around it. She wanted to kiss him. He moved away, playfully, and ran. She stood, disappointed, waiting for him to come back. When he came back there was something soft in his hands. He asked her to close her eyes and she obliged. She almost dropped it when the ‘gift’ squealed. She opened her eyes to find a wriggling bundle of fur. A puppy!

  ‘I found it in the grove. His mother and siblings are all dead, perhaps eaten by a leopard. This one was hiding inside a bush.’ Baali stood grinning at her. The ball of fur opened its eyes and blinked at her. She felt a rush of affection. She was never fond of dogs, but this was a gift from Baali. She kissed it and smiled at the happiness of her husband.

  ‘We need a name,’ Baali whispered in her ears as he held her close to him.

  She turned to kiss him on his lips. ‘I did not know you love dogs.’

  Baali took it from her hand and raised it high. Its black eyes twinkled, and it flicked a pink tongue. Its bushy tail was waving fervently.

  ‘Not a puppy,’ Baali laughed, ‘A wolf cub.’

  ‘A what?’ Tara was shocked.

  ‘He will grow into a fine wolf.’

  ‘You can’t have a wolf as a pet!’

  ‘Pet? Who said it is a pet. He will be my friend,’ Baali said, leaving the cub on the floor. It sniffed the ground and came to her. It put up its paw and tried to climb her legs. She stepped back.

  ‘You didn’t like it,’ Baali’s voice betrayed hurt. Tara didn’t know what to say. She tried to smile, trying to push away the thought of having a wolf share their bedroom. The cub, perhaps, sensed her discomfort. It moved to Baali and sat with its ears perked up. Had she not known it was a wolf cub, she would have adored it. She watched Baali pick it up like a father would lift up a son. She wanted to give him a son and a daughter. She could see how wonderful a father he would be. He was cooing to the puppy, nay, the wolf cub. It cuddled in his broad chest and closed its eyes. He gently lay it on the bed. Tara watched him, her heart overflowing with love for Baali. She should learn to love the wolf too, if that made him happy.

  ‘Sugreeva wanted me to kill it. “Wolves are wild,” he said. I am also wild, I countered. I would trust anything wild rather than civilized,’ Baali said. Unbidden, thoughts about Sugreeva came rushing to her. Her face grew dark. She was scared whether Sugreeva would continue to haunt her. Baali turned to her and caught her dark expression.

  ‘Why are you looking worried? If you don’t like it, I shall set him free in the jungle. He won’t survive long though.’

  ‘It . . . it is not that,’ she said. ‘I am scared for you. There are so many foes . . .’

  ‘There is no warrior in Jambudweepa who can face me in a battle,’ Baali said, standing up and embracing her. But such words didn’t allay her fears. Neither did his loving kisses. Like spiders hiding in the crevices of the wall, fear lay hidden in the cracks of her mind. Fear started weaving webs, tangling her little joys, choking her innocence. Every time Baali went out, she was scared for him. The wolf cub started accompanying him wherever he went. He had named it Chemba, for its fur grew to a faded red. Chemba could always be seen by the side of Baali. It tolerated Tara but was ferociously loyal to Baali. Somehow, despite her reservations about the wolf that was growing bigger rapidly, she found her mind at peace when Chemba accompanied Baali. Sugreeva despised it. For Baali, Chemba had grown into another brother as dear to him as Sugreeva. Tara could sense Sugreeva’s resentment. What made her more fearful was the manner in which Sugreeva acted as if he liked Chemba. The wolf sensed it and kept its distance from Sugreeva. She wished Baali would sense it too.

  Sugreeva was always respectful towards Tara. He never mentioned his love again while Ruma avoided her. Sugreeva’s behaviour confounded her. When she was alone, she found thoughts about Sugreeva’s love bubbling up. Unbidden, his earnest pleading for her love came flooding back into her mind. She fought it with all her will. The thought that perhaps all his professing of love to her was a prank made her angry. And it scared her that she yearned for his attention. She tried to cling to Baali, who was always caring and loving to her. That made her feel guilty, for she thought she could never reciprocate his love with the same sincerity. She was scared she was going insane.

  Hanuman was a solace, a Guru and a friend for Tara. She would often visit his Kadalivana, where the Brahmachari carefully nurtured a plantain garden. The thick red Kadali banana he served her were delicious. Hanuman would speak about the need for adopting farming and agriculture. His vision was in contrast with that of Baali. He would talk of how they could sustain by hunting and gathering. Baali was progressive when he started building the city, but he rejected the new ways of life after the killing of the bull Dundubji. Tara argued for her husband often, but in her heart, she knew Hanuman had a point. Hanuman would smile at her argument but would say farming taught man patience. One must wait for months before one can harvest and have the fruits of one’s labour. A farmer understood life that depended on many factors, like the rains and sunshine, the birds and earthworm, the butterflies and bees, and countless other creatures. Hanuman’s way of life was attracting many disciples. The Ashram had expanded much since Tara had first visited it. Baali never interfered in Hanuman’s deeds or stopped anyone from joining the Ashram. Hanuman never interfered in Baali’s Kishkinda nor did he visit it after Sugreeva’s marriage. About Tara’s frequent visits, Baali maintained a stoic silence. She suspected that Baali knew she had learned to read and write at least three languages and was teaching many women secretly, though he never mentioned it to her. Once she said to Hanuman that she wished Baali would learn to read.

  ‘Whatever his faults, Tara, your husband is a man of integrity. He is one of the few I have met who lives as p
er his belief. There is no need to change him, nor do I think one can change anyone. Love him as he is, daughter.’

  Hanuman made that day special for her in another way too. He took her to the edge of the river and smiled. Tara stood confused.

  That day, when she was walking back, she pondered over Hanuman’s words. Baali loved her as she was. He never tried to change her. In a way, her friend and her husband had more similarities than differences. She smiled at the thought.

  In her arguments with Baali, she would often present Hanuman’s views as her own. Baali would laugh and say, farming is unnatural. You prefer one kind of plant over all others. The farmer weeds out every plant other than what serves his selfish needs. Birds, animals, rodents, snakes and so many creatures, that are part of mother nature are killed or chased away, so that man can satiate his selfish needs. Then the farmer enslaves bulls, horses, asses, oxen or cows. He shows utmost cruelty to them when they have the strength to serve his purpose and eats them when they fall after a lifetime of service. The hunter hunts when he is hungry. His violence is only for his basic needs. He is truer to how nature intended any creature to be. There is no selfishness, except that of self-preservation in his deeds. When Tara argued with Baali, she felt he was right and when she argued with Hanuman, she felt Hanuman was right. She knew both men were not going to change their opinions. Once, when she was arguing with Baali, Sugreeva was present. She was curious to know what Sugreeva would say, but they were keeping away from each other, as much as two people who lived under the same roof could.

  As if reading her mind, Baali asked Sugreeva what he thought about the relative merit of farming and hunting. Sugreeva said one should do whatever works, depending on the circumstances. Baali argued that it was hypocrisy and Sugreeva said, hypocrisy is natural to all creatures. The tiger crouches in the bush before pouncing on the unsuspecting deer. The chameleon changes colour as per the surroundings. Are these creatures not a part of nature? Spider weaves the web and waits for the prey. Nature is deception, nature is opportunistic. Hypocrisy is natural. So, if someone who is more powerful says farming is better, a wise man should not say otherwise. Baali asked whether Sugreeva was not disagreeing with the Vanara way of life because his elder brother was powerful. That led to more banter and mocking and each brother challenging the other to a duel.